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John Rose, a visiting scholar at Duke’s Kenan Institute for Ethics where he served as associate director of the Civil Discourse Project, has advice on how to manage hard conversations. He focuses on three tips that might be helpful for meetings of extended families this Thanksgiving.  

Tip 1: Assume goodwill on the part of your discussion partners. “Don't attribute bad motives to others that they don't claim to have,” Rose said. “It shuts down conversation.”

Tip 2: Avoid embarrassing your discussion partners. “You don’t persuade people by shaming them.”

Tip 3: Acknowledge your own moral and intellectual failings. “So often it’s pride that prevents healthy conversations,” Rose said.